I recently read this blog post by Dr Emily Garside, Let Me Enjoy Taylor Swift in Peace (or stop stealing people's joy). The more I read, the more my nerdy little heart was screaming YES at everything she had to say. I took to Twitter to express how much I related:
Read this blog post and celebrate your nerdiness, whatever it may be.
— Jacqui Onions (@jacqui_onions) April 15, 2021
I obsess. I fangirl. And it has brought so much joy into my life. Friendships, shared experiences and in jokes, and so many adventures! Finding the people that enjoy and match your energy is the best. https://t.co/aL5mQYDlh4
But sometimes a Tweet just isn't enough so here I am to tell you my own little nerdy story.
Firstly, Garside's blog post discusses the issues around perceived intellectual or taste superiority. Now, I am not the stereotypical South Wales Valleys girl. A lifelong theatre-goer with a Master's degree, I have spent my free time in lockdown seeking out online performances and biology and psychology lectures. Can you hear those childhood taunts of swot, snob, nerd? But take me out of the Valleys and little old me with my Doctor Who t-shirts, Funkos, and collection of Sulleys from Monsters Inc couldn't possibly appreciate Oscar Wilde or Dylan Thomas...could she?! And this is before you throw into the mix that the arts and sciences shouldn't go hand in hand in one person! So what am I, the superior or inferior? I don't consider myself either and certainly don't try to project either persona...in fact, I don't believe that either actually exists...but I'm sure in the eyes of different people I have been both. As Garside so wonderfully describes it, these people are all joy suckers! I love that I can go to my TV recordings and choose between Alan Bennett's Talking Heads or Star Trek, Uncle Vanya or Holby City, not to mention my inexplicable addiction to Say Yes to the Dress. Garside points out that the joy suckers that consider themselves superior "want people like me to think I’m enjoying quality high brow stuff and judge me for it." What the joy suckers don't seem to realise is that we can understand the difference and enjoy both. And when you stop worrying about what other people think and embrace the things you love, be they high art, popular culture, or just plain trash, you'll enjoy them all the more.
Now we've decided to stop the joy suckers in their tracks and enjoy whatever it is that makes us happy, it's time to share that passion with the world. But how much should we share? Garside rightly points out in her blog post that "the idea that it’s somehow ‘unprofessional’ to profess a love for a musician? A TV show? This is ridiculous." Yet this is a battle I've had with myself several times. It is for the most part a pressure I put upon myself - I am my own joy sucker! Some days I am proud to be a fangirl, enthusiastically sharing on social media all the things that make my nerdy little heart happy. But then other days I censor myself, concerned that I shouldn't be going on too much about whatever my obsession at the time is. Garside observes, "Fans are used to the idea that being passionate about things like TV, film or comic books, even theatre fans, that it's a 'silly thing' that is a pat-on-the-head 'that's cute' but take it a step further and you're 'weird' and 'why are you so obsessed with this'." I need to remind myself of two things. Firstly, I have never lost any professional respect through my nerding, in fact, my colleagues and professional contacts often respond favourably to my geeky social media posts. Secondly, life is so much more fun when I fangirl. Let me expand on that second point by sharing some of the things I blame Daniel Boys for!
I have been stalking Daniel Boys for nearly 12 years now. By stalking, I mean in the summer of 2009 my friend and I purchased a fan site that we relaunched in the October as the Daniel Boys Fanzone. I say friend...we didn't actually meet in person until December 2009, several months after we'd decided to run this site together! Luckily it all worked out and we really are friends now. And that's the first crazy thing that I blame Daniel for...but it gets crazier. We've had plenty of adventures over the years (and made some wonderful friends along the way) but by far the weirdest moment was when I ended up on Points of View! Daniel had filmed an interview for a TV show but was cut completely so the Fanzone rallied the troops and turned to Points of View to find out why. We were chuffed when they responded to the messages we'd collected and were even more pleased that they were going to interview Daniel as a result, but it hadn't crossed our minds that they'd want one of us to make a video of our query! Guess who got volunteered for that one? It's certainly one of my stranger claims to fame!
I also blame Daniel Boys for the fact that I ended up singing with a choir on an album! Let me elaborate. Daniel sang a track on More With Every Line - the debut album of Tim Prottey-Jones. Tim hadn't been on my radar until then but we made contact with him to do our little bit to promote the album through the Fanzone and of course I purchased a copy. I completely fell in love with his music and started following him on social media so when he came to be planning his second album and announced that he wanted to put together a choir from his Twitter followers to sing on it I had to give it a shot, even though I am most definitely not a singer. By some miracle or act of kindness on Tim's part, I got into the Twitter Choir and spent an amazing day in Birmingham with a lovely group of people that I'd never met before, learning and recording the choir parts for the album, Surrounded by the Sounds. It's an experience that I will never forget and ten years on I am still incredibly proud to have been a part of it and grateful to Tim for giving me the opportunity. And I wouldn't have known a thing about it, let alone put myself forward for it had I not been a fangirl.
So, good things happen when you fangirl but why do we fangirl in the first place? I'd like to return to the perception that these passions are a 'silly thing'. Yes, I make light of my fangirling and joke about stalking and obsessions but if you ask me or take an interest then I will happily articulate in all seriousness why I am passionate about a certain performer, TV show, or piece of theatre. Garside has even written a book about one of her personal passions, Schitt's Creek - that's no 'silly thing'. I am no author but I'll enthusiastically discuss with you how and why I became and remain a Daniel Boys fangirl, why I will watch anything that has James Spader, Michael C. Hall, or Matthew Macfadyen in it based purely on the casting, where my love of Under Milk Wood came from, or what I find so relatable about the musical Ordinary Days. And I actively encourage discussion and debate. I don't need you to share my love or agree with me, but I'd love to have a conversation about it and to discuss your passions too. The lesson here - engage with the nerd in your life. You may find you influence and inspire each other and have some fascinating conversations and discussions.
I'd like to conclude by talking about joy. On the subject of Fan Fiction, Garside says, "it's one of the few things that has brought me true joy this last year. I'm clinging onto one Fic I'm writing like a life raft right now." I have never written Fan Fiction but I related to the sentiment in terms of the joy and comfort that my own passions have brought me during lockdown. For the sake of variety, let's move away from Daniel Boys for a moment and look at one of my other obsessions - Matthew Macfadyen. Macfadyen first caught my attention back in 2002 with the start of one of my all-time favourite TV series, Spooks, so I have been a fan for the vast majority of my adult life. Combine lockdown with the release of Quiz, my discovery of Succession, and I have disappeared down a rabbit hole! It's not unusual for me to go through phases of seeking out the back catalogues of my favourite actors (I have a decent James Spader DVD collection that I am always happy to add to), but so far the pandemic has seen me watching seven seasons of TV shows, two and a half mini-series', and six movies featuring Macfadyen. If any judgemental thoughts are crossing your mind right now then you are a joy-sucker! I have taken a great deal of joy in discovering film and TV that had previously passed me by and revisiting pieces that I have enjoyed before, as well as the comfort found in the familiarity. Most people have a comfort movie, well I guess I've just extended that a little!
Take joy in your passions and those of others. Life is much better when you do!
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